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The wrong sort of games in relationships

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If you’re a Seinfield fan, you might know this line. I’ll try not to misquote here, but one of the characters says to Seinfeld, “You shouldn’t play games in relationships!” to which he replies, “What’s the point of dating without games? How do you know if you’re winning or losing?”

If we view too much of life through a competitive lens, we come to treat everything like a tussle, a chance to score points and get ahead.

Trying to make someone want you more by acting ‘standoffish’, ignoring them, or trying to make them jealous is, of course, all about manipulation. If a relationship starts off on a basis of game playing, don’t expect any winners long-term.

What to do: If you want a good quality relationship, be honest and upfront so you can both ‘win’ together. And refuse to be drawn into their games if that’s what they do. They’ll stop soon enough when they realise you aren’t playing.

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To your relationship bliss,

Mark

Published by mark.tyrrell September 8th, 2016 in