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The oldest relationship mistake in the book?

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Mark Tyrrell
Mark Tyrrell, Author of Uncommon Relationship Tips

I hope you like stories because there is an old Sufi tale that tells us a lot about a major relationship mistake.

It goes like this....

Some villagers find an eagle, a bird they had never seen before. Because it was unfamiliar, they didn't feel it was like a 'real bird' at all. So they cut its beak, trimmed back its feathers, and clipped off its talons, at last deciding that now it looked like a 'proper bird'. Of course, it could no longer fly.

There you go, short and sweet, but rather profound I hope you agree.

Treating your new partner like a project that you need to work on, like something to 'improve', is disrespectful and can make the person feel like you don't appreciate them for who they are or even know them at all. Trying to get someone to wear more trendy clothes, go for the jobs you recommend, act how you think they should, begs the question: what did you see in this person to begin with?

What to do: Remember the story of the villagers and the eagle.

Dating someone new should be fun, exciting, and enjoyable. If you can monitor and influence your own behaviour during this 'getting to know' phase, then you have much more hope of getting to know whether you and they really will work together without needing to blame anyone if it doesn't work out.

Knowing what may be wrong can help us all understand more how to find what is right.

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Published by mark.tyrrell October 12th, 2013 in