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How to avoid devaluing yourself

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Last time we saw how the snake had made life difficult for itself by becoming too nice. This time I want to look at how people respond to too much niceness.

Have you noticed that when something is too available, its perceived value drops?

We take water for granted when it's gushingly plentiful, but it becomes more valued than gold during severe drought.

In the same way, when someone is reliably nice, their niceness loses value because it's so plentiful. But when someone is sometimes but not always 'nice', we value their niceness as a scarce resource.

We are more likely to become addicted to gambling (or anything) when the rewards from that behaviour are inconsistent. If gamblers won every time, the act of gambling would, believe it or not, become less compelling for them and feel less meaningful.

Don't blame me; I didn't invent human nature! (Although, this principle holds good for other animals, too).

It's worth thinking about in case you're ever tempted to think "all I have to do is to be nicer to them and they'll like me".

Do you feel you're not as good as other people?

Click here to get my free bite-sized self esteem tips sent straight to your email inbox that you can use to feel better right away.

To your value,


Published by mark.tyrrell January 7th, 2016 in