How can I stop my maladaptive daydreaming?

Hi Mark,

I was wondering if you can treat maladaptive daydreaming? It's only a recently recognized condition and there really doesn't seem to be any effective way of treating it. I constantly zone out into a fantasy world despite my best efforts.

Any help would be appreciated.

This question was submitted by 'Cian'

Mark says...

Hi Cian and thanks for this.

I'm not sure that this is an only recently recognized condition. Milton Erickson famously said, "A goal without a date is just a dream." Although maybe it's only become 'official' recently if the DSM [Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders] compilers have gotten their hands on the idea.

The imagination is a wonderful tool, of course. A tool that seemed to have developed in humankind perhaps as recently as 40,000 years ago when art and symbolic thoughts seemed to have become part of what we humans could do (see Godhead: The Brain's Big Bang).

Using the imagination enables us to plan, think symbolically, and wonder about the universe around us. It enabled the rise of science and architecture, as well as religion and all thought that enabled us to transcend the here and now. A great scientist, such as Einstein, will be able to see possibilities within the imagination before scientifically validating them on the 'outside', in real life. And, of course, we all dream through the imagination.

Imagination is powerful and can take us a long way as long as we use it and don't lose control of it. But, like any tool, it can be overused, misused, or it can start to use us.

People who worry too much do so because their imagination feels out of control. Many of the things people worry about are not in the here and now and are therefore being processed through imagination (this is not to say that their worries don't concern real things). Most people don't equate creativity with worrying, but of course a worry is an inner creation. 'Flashbacks' in people who have been traumatized are processed through the imagination (again, that doesn't mean they don't relate to all too real happenings).

So, nighttime dreams, flashbacks, worry, invention, discovery, symbolic religious thought, paranoia, jealousy, hope, and future plans are all processed through the imagination. Imagination is a big part of what it is to be human. This is why many therapists seek to help people gain control of and constructively direct their imaginations with such techniques as mindfulness and clinical hypnosis.

I suggest you keep an imagination diary. Ask yourself what you want to use your imagination for. To make plans? Envisage goals? Help with creating goals? Then set some time each day for daydreaming. It might be fifteen minutes in the morning or before bed. During that time, do nothing but daydream constructively. Afterwards, write down, in a few summarizing words, the contents of your daydreaming.

Each time you catch yourself slipping into daydreaming, ask yourself: What is this fantasy for? Will it help me in any way? Also look at 'danger times'. Daydreaming happens more when we are bored and under-stimulated on the outside. Is your life full enough? Do you need to get out and interact more with immediate reality so you just can't daydream? It's hard to daydream if your attention has to be focussed outwardly. Are you getting enough sleep? We all need to sleep and dream at night. If not, your body may be trying to get what it needs by zoning out during the day. Your 'ultradian rhythms' may be out of whack. Check out my blog post on this; although it was written for therapists, I think you'll find it useful.

I hope what I've said here is useful.

All the best,

Mark