I feel inferior to other people

Dear Mark,

Lately, I do not feel confident. I keep comparing myself to others and feel inferior to other people's achievements. This all started when I failed a year of my engineering and felt left out. Since then, I have started exercising and living a more active life. Initially, it did help, but now I am back to square one.

Feeling inferior has made me lose focus yet again on my daily routine. I end being compared or subconsciously compare myself to other people's lifestyles. In a way, I do not feel complete or positive about myself or my future and this is getting very harmful in my choice of career. I need help right away to boost my self-confidence. Thank you.

This question was submitted by 'Akshay'

Mark says...

Hi Akshay,

I wonder why you've been feeling like this, as you say, lately. Has anything changed recently?

It's so easy now to compare ourselves with anyone in the world thanks to the images and seeming lifestyles of the rich, famous, and accomplished being pumped into our minds by worldwide media. But, of course, trying to be like someone else is a road to nowhere. You are you and can only be the best version of who you are; not some copy of how someone else lives their life. What do you compare? Looks? Material possessions? Personalities?

Please focus on giving yourself a break and being kinder to yourself. If we look at an acorn, it might not seem a very impressive or significant thing yet, but it can grow to be a mighty oak tree. In a way, we are all acorns awaiting growth, but unlike the oak seedling, we can direct our own growth to a large extent. Part of that development might involve not just gaining more material 'success', but psychologically transcending the need to impress or be 'as good as' others. Why shouldn't you believe in yourself? You have a unique gift, which is your essence; there are well over seven billion people alive right now and billions have lived in the past, yet no one other than you is...you.

There are always people who seem better or better off than us, but so much of this is illusion. We live assuming that money, sex, the 'perfect' job or car, or whatever will make us happy or worthy of respect, but when you get these things, you find they become mere details of life. Of more value to our wellbeing is meeting the array of emotional needs we all have. I suggest you invest in the '10 Steps to Solid Self-Esteem' program. I will give you a three-month money back guarantee if you find it's not what you need, but if you follow it carefully, it will change your life and the way you feel about yourself and other people.

All my best,

Mark