How can I control my moods at work?
I have trouble with my moods when I'm at work. I often feel like some task or idea is totally 'stupid' (that's the word that always comes in to my mind) and a waste of time. Part of it is that I'm feeling depressed and I can't shake the negativity. Another part is frustration at, frankly, a lot of incompetence and mismanagement on the part of the managers I work for. I need to get a grip because I need this income and there are many good aspects of my job. It feels like something from very deep and I don't know how to shake it. Please don't print my real name if you use this. Thank you.
This question was submitted by 'Anonymous'
Mark says...
Hi,
Thank you for your question and please be assured that not only will we not publish your real name, we won't publish any name at all. : )
There are a couple of things that strike me about your message. Workplaces certainly can be frustrating. The point is, when you think about it calmly, perhaps when you are away from work, do you feel your thoughts of 'this is totally stupid' and so on are justified, that they result from you feeling overly emotional/negative, or a bit of both? Or to put it another way: would you think the same kinds of negative things if you felt less emotional? You might not necessarily be in a position to change what other people suggest, do, or implement in your workplace, in which case all you can do is change how you respond to what others do.
You describe typical emotion-driven thinking. That is, you've been thinking in extreme black or white, 'all or nothing' ways as in: 'some task or idea is totally "stupid"'. As you relax more at work, you'll find that your thinking becomes less extremist, but also you can become less emotional at work by focusing on challenging that all or nothing thinking sometimes. I think perhaps the '
It's also vital you lead a balanced life. The more you relax and unwind when you are not at work, the more that increased calm will carry over into the workplace, making you more able to deal effectively with the inevitable stresses that arise. You might like to check out the 'Work Life Balance' download and also 'Relax After Work'. You can also read my 'In Praise of the Primal Lifestyle' article for more on this.
As you say, your work might not be ideal and hopefully one day you can move on to better or more suitable things, but right now you need it as a 'holding pattern' in your life until things get better.
All the very best,
Mark
Published by Mark Tyrrell -
March 13th, 2014 in 
