I want my boyfriend back but he won't talk

Mark,

I have a question that is similar to another one I read. My boyfriend and I recently broke up, about two weeks ago. We had an argument one night, he went home, and we have barely talked since then. I have sent him texts and a few emails. He responds to texts, but doesn't really want to talk about our relationship at all. We have had a few problems lately, but nothing that I think can't be worked out. I have apologized for things I have done and said and have asked for him to give us another chance, but still he won't talk to me... I'm just not sure what to do.

This question was submitted by 'Tabby'

Mark says...

Hi Tabby,

I'm really sorry to hear this. It may be that he just needs time alone to think and figure things out. Men often instinctively want to withdraw and not talk when they feel emotional. This doesn't mean he doesn't care, but it can feel like it when it happens just when you do want to talk.

On the other hand, he may have had doubts about the relationship for a while and used the argument of two weeks ago as an excuse to call it quits. I think you have done what you can do. Alternatively, he may feel he is 'punishing' you. My guess, though (without knowing either of you, so it is a guess), is that he just feels he needs space.

You have let him know that you feel any problems can be worked through, you have apologized for your part (and I hope he has apologized for his). My advice is to let him be for a while. He knows how you feel and if you limit contact with him for a while, then it's down to him to make an effort, if that is what he wants. If he doesn't 'fight' for the relationship at this point, then it looks like he wants out. But remember that whatever happens, however it turns out, you can create a satisfying, happy, and fulfilling future even if he's not in it - however it might have seemed sometimes.

All my very best,

Mark