How do I get over my fear of public speaking?

Hi Mark,

I am 21 years old and currently in university. I have a real problem with public speaking. I get so nervous that I avoid them at all costs, even if that means failing my modules.

I have always been shy, but after moving to a new country this fear increased drastically. The change in environment and having to make new friends (something I have never had to do, having lived in the same town for 17 years) just added to the problem. After moving to university, my social anxiety has got worse. I just stay in my room most of the time.

Public speaking and socializing to make new friends is torture. I make friends at work, but at university I have a constant fear. I avoid parties or any social situations because I find it hard making new friends. Speaking in groups where I don't know people leaves me feeling very anxious and I tend to avoid such situations, thus making it hard to make friends.

I particularly need to get over my fear of public speaking. I feel it’s the root of all my anxiety. Going to the GP is not an option. Is there anything on this website that could assist me? Please advise me as to the best option. Thank you very much.

This question was submitted by 'Blaise'

Mark says...

Hi Blaise and thank you for writing in.

I can certainly personally relate to what you've written here. I too used to be terrified of public speaking and shy in groups. And relaxing with public speaking has the knock-on effect of helping you become much, much more socially confident. I worked hard not just to overcome a crippling fear, but to become relaxed and super-confident when speaking.

So, how does this work? Shyness can be 'worn out' through practice at both socializing and public speaking, but this is a tough way of doing it because it goes against instinct. When we fear something, we tend to avoid it; but the more we avoid it, the more we fear it. We can stop avoiding it and 'practice' whatever we fear by learning to do it inwardly, mentally, hypnotically in a calm and confident way. I overcame my public speaking fears in two ways.

First off, I watched footage of excellent public speakers over and over. I began to 'internalize' what they did and what they didn't do. Secondly, I began to use hypnosis to 'practice' speaking confidently in front of hundreds before I did it for real.

I suggest you use the '10 Steps to Powerful Public Speaking' program or at least the 'Public Speaking Fear Hypnosis Pack' to get over your fear. This should also help lift the social anxiety you'd been experiencing, but you may also like to complete the '10 Steps to Overcome Social Anxiety' course.

And there are free resources, too. You can check out the following articles: 'Public Speaking (or how to enjoy presentations)', 'Public Speaking Techniques Tested at the Front Line', and 'How to Hypnotize Your Audience'.

People who start off naturally shy or naturally under-confident often end up the best communicators because of their sensitivity, not despite it. Who are you to deprive the world of your insights? : )

All the very best,

Mark