How can I get my ex back?

Hello,

My boyfriend just recently broke up with me. I really want him back, but I don't know how to do that without seeming desperate. I have looked everywhere and the NC rule ['no contact rule'] seems to be used by lots of people. However, I can't look into any techniques more as I am a student and very tight on money.

Any suggestions as to how I could possibly make my ex want to be with me again? :(

This question was submitted by 'Hannah'

Mark says...

Hi Hannah,

Thank you for writing in. Things must be really tough for you now. There is no guaranteed way of getting your ex back other than kidnap - which I don't recommend! And this despite what people may try to sell you.

Certainly being (or seeming) too desperate may be off-putting to him. You need to really look at why he broke up with you. What were his reasons? And did they have to do with you or him (as far as he was honest with you about that)? If they were to do with you, let him know that you are working on them and still want to be with him and love him, but that if he doesn't want to be with you then you understand. Has he told you he needs a break or that it's over? It may not be you that he's walked away from as much as a relationship or an intense relationship. Let him know you still want to be with him and that you will work on anything such as insecurity or jealousy or possessiveness (if any of that was an issue), but that you realise he has his life to lead and choices to make.

If you haven't already, read 'Can You Really Get Your Ex Back?' and make yourself focus on other things. Keep up your friendships, social life, and other interests. If need be, also check out 'How to Handle the Pain of Unrequited Love'. If he comes back to you, then life may be good. But if he doesn't, life will be good, too - however hard that seems to believe right now.

All best wishes,

Mark