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How do I stop my fear of talking on the phone?

For as long as I can remember, I've had trouble talking on the phone, both answering it and ringing someone. I never wanted a mobile, but being able to see the caller ID seemed to help with the answering of the phone. I'm very quiet face-to-face until I get to know the other people, then I get quite confident.

I took a job three years ago working in a call centre because I knew by facing it I could get over it. I ended up heading straight into full depression where I'm now at a stage that simply dialling a number has me in tears and my heart pounding. I even stress about sending emails and replying to them in case I sound stupid.

I really want and need this fear to end so I can move on and live normally, not cowering because the phone or doorbell has rung. How can I get past this? I'm really trying to put myself out there and push myself with that job, but it made me worse. It probably didn't help that I was working for a bank and the callers were beyond rude and nasty.

In university, I had to give speeches at the front of class. I had to talk quick, because the longer I stood, the redder and hotter I got until I shook so much I couldn't read my paper.

If you could tell me what I could do or point me in the direction of something or someone who could help, I'd really appreciate it.

This question was submitted by 'Steph'

mark tyrrell

Mark says...

Hello Steph and thanks for your question.

I must say, it was really brave of you to make yourself work in a call centre! Fear of talking on the phone is widespread and I'm guessing you've read my article on this: 'Overcome a Fear of Talking on the Phone'. I also recommend you use the hypnosis download.

One thing struck me about your message. You mentioned that even sending an email made you anxious because you felt that someone might think you stupid. And this may be at the heart of much of your fear, the feeling that others might judge you harshly. I suggest you read 'How to Stop Worrying What Other People Think'. Really think about what is in this article and put what it has to say into practice.

Most people are much more concerned with what others think of them than what they think of you. Most people are not so unkind, cruel, or simple-minded enough to conclude you are stupid from an email or a conversation. The more mental rehearsal you can do of interacting with others whilst feeling super calm and composed, the more you will 'program' self-confidence into yourself. This article may also help you to instantly feel more confident: 'How to boost your personal power in two minutes (a quick psychology tip)'. This kind of thing may seem simplistic, but so might a shot of penicillin.

You also mentioned answering the doorbell and public speaking. You could certainly take a look at the '10 Steps to Overcome Social Anxiety' course, too.

There are so many resources for you to use. I too am sometimes reluctant to take a call if I don't know who it is, as time is precious. So, it may be that you never particularly love talking on the phone, but once the excessive fear drops away and you start to feel calm and self-confident, greater opportunities and satisfactions will materialize in your life.

All best wishes,

Mark

watch icon Published by Mark Tyrrell - May 15th, 2014 in

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