I always feel like I ruined myself for the day. I had a DMT trip in my dreams and got traumatized. In waking life, when I feel the same trauma I felt surface in the dream, or when I think about it, I feel like I’m activating DMT waves in my brain. Since I dreamed it, and dreams are real as life. So I always try to avoid these thoughts and feelings. I feel like activating it while you’re doing daily activities can hurt your brain. I feel like I have to stop all my activities for the rest of the day in order to not feel this forever. Then start again the next day. I’m frozen all day and can only move having the right thoughts and breathing. I do rituals 50 times per day, having to walk in circles all day. My brain is trained to believe certain thoughts are dangerous. I create this in my mind. I feel like thinking certain things can activate DMT in me. I can’t tell the difference between what’s imagined and real. I'm in survival mode always. I can't sit or stand still, I risk getting stuck.