Let go of self-blame and learn how to forgive yourself

When you think back on actions and situations that you truly regret in your life, do you find yourself being overcome with a sense of having failed as a human being? Do you feel that, if other people were to find out what you had done, they would know that you are a really bad person, and would not want anything to do with you? These are very common feelings to suffer before you learn to forgive yourself.

In fact, the very notion of self forgiveness may seem right out of reach. You may consider what you have done to be, literally, unforgivable. And if other people could not forgive you, how can you forgive yourself? You may come to believe that you more than deserve all the suffering that comes to you as a result. That forgiving yourself would itself be unforgivable.

Sitting in judgment on yourself? Why it all seems so clear

When you feel that things you have done were really bad (whether this is objectively true or not), your sense of identity takes a real knock. It's a fundamental human trait to want to think well of yourself, and to want to be a 'good person'. Faced with your own 'bad' behavior, you start doubting your capacity to be 'good'. You must be fundamentally bad. Otherwise, how could you have done that despicable thing?

You can't contemplate self-forgiveness if your brain is out of order

Although this reasoning seems very persuasive, it is actually based on false logic and emotional black-and-white thinking. It's hard to see this when you are caught up in the powerful emotions of regret and guilt. Emotional arousal sends powerful chemical signals round your brain, cutting off access to the frontal cortex (the base for rational thought), and activating the amygdale (the base for emotional responses).

Emotional arousal + rumination = negative spiral

When the amygdale is 'in charge', your emotional reactions seem 'absolutely right'. You lose your ability to see shades of gray, or understand complexities. Everything seems very simple. Bad or good. Right or wrong. Nothing in between. On top of this, if you constantly focus on the negative stimulus (your guilt), you stir up even more emotional arousal, thus reinforcing a negative spiral of self-blame.

Calming down is the very first step towards self forgiveness

Leaving aside the emotionally charged question of whether you are 'bad' or 'good', what would happen if you were to calm down the emotional arousal that has been stirred up by guilty feelings and regrets? What would happen if you could think calmly and clearly about things, using all your powers of rational thought? Well, you won't know unless you try it. And how are you going to do that?

Hypnosis can calm you down and give forgiveness a chance

Forgive yourself is an audio hypnosis session that you can use for two separate purposes. Firstly, you can use it to learn how to effectively calm down emotional arousal so that your brain is free to think clearly, uncluttered by emotion. Carrying long term guilt and blame is highly stressful, and just taking the time to learn how to relax deeply will benefit your mind and body in so many ways.

Secondly, relaxing and listening to Forgive yourself will allow you to calmly reconsider the actions and situations which rouse such painful feelings in you. You remain in control at all stages. You are the one who will decide what you will actually do. And you can relax in the knowledge that you will make your decision in a state of emotional calm.

The new perspectives laid before you in Forgive yourself will help you move on to a new stage in your life, where you can learn deeply from your past, and free yourself from unnecessary guilt and blame.

Download Forgive yourself and discover how you can build yourself a better, wiser, more compassionate future.