Accepting Compliments

Do you find it nigh on impossible to accept compliments but easy to accept and be hurt by criticisms?

Research has shown that people with low self esteem find it very difficult to accept compliments (1)

When people try to compliment you, do you automatically try to deflect it or even argue with them? Or perhaps you feel they have an agenda or are trying to 'get round you' in some way? It could be you distrust compliments because you assume people are trying to soft soap you for their own ends.

People who can't accept compliments tend to be more down on themselves and less positive about their abilities and attainments. But when we accept compliments we are actually behaving with more humility.

Accepting compliments as a way of giving other people credit.

If we disregard what other people say then we are basically denying the possibility that they can see something in us that we can't see our selves. This is to deny that they have the ability to perceive clearly. When you begin to accept compliments you'll be more respectful of other people as well as developing more self respect.

Avoid a pitfall of depressive thinking

People who think in depressive patterns externalize good things but internalize bad things. This means that if something doesn't work out (such as a relationship or piece of work or…anything at all) they tend to exclusively blame themselves: 'I completely messed up that relationship!' They internalize the bad thing by exclusively blaming themselves but when things do work out they externalize it by putting the cause of that good thing outside of themselves. So if they are promoted at work it was because their work place didn't have time to hire anyone else rather than because they were the right people for the job. If they do well in a competition it's because the judges were being kind. In other words the cause of the good thing comes from outside of themselves.

This is clearly a way of going through life that is likely to make you feel worse, which is why depressed people often unwittingly use this style of thinking. When we can't accept compliments, but take criticisms to heart, then we are internalizing the bad stuff and externalizing the good stuff. By learning to accept compliments you'll be thinking in a way that is less depressive and more optimistic.

This doesn't mean you'll go round being arrogant and thinking you are automatically superior to others but it will mean that you can be fair to yourself more of the time and start forming a better self-image which will make you more confident.

This hypnotic session Accept Compliments will enable you to objectively recognize your strengths and appreciate where you have done well. This will lead to greater enjoyment and positivity in life.

Download Accept Compliments now.

(1) The Rountree Report 2001 Nicolas Emler 'The causes and consequences of low self worth'.