Overcome the urge to apologize all the time and see others' respect for you grow
People who over apologize are seeking reassurance. This presents as over-neediness and can be irritating for the person being over-apologized to.
It takes a decent honest person to stand up and say they are sorry if they have clearly done something wrong and trying to blame others all the time and never accepting responsibility is an unpleasant trait. But being too apologetic can undermine your status as a person making you seem under-confident, self deprecating and weak.
If you apologize all the time your apology actually loses it's power of meaning. If your late or you have done someone else a real disservice or been mean then, of course, you should sincerely say sorry to be decent but you don't need to keep apologizing over and over. Over apologizers also excuse other people. It's not your role to apologize for others it is, of course, down to them.
Apologizing for existing-branding yourself a victim
Some people apologize almost for their own existence on the planet. They put themselves down and blame themselves for all kinds of stuff. I have even heard people apologize because the weather didn't turn out as expected. If you do this you are sending out the signal that you are a victim and should therefore be treated like one.
Your purpose in apologizing is to acknowledge your mistake and thereby reposition yourself as a responsible, reasonable and sensitive person. But if you constantly bring up the past and keep groveling and begging forgiveness you just make others uncomfortable and the apologizing becomes something you do as an attempt to make your self feel better and reassured rather than for the benefit of the person you are actually apologizing to.
Furthermore if you keep on apologizing people will assume you are not competent, cannot do things or are bad at your job. Are these impressions you want to make in other peoples' minds? If you keep saying sorry it can also appear as if you have something to hide; that you are masking something else why would you be so apologetic all the time?
Over apologizing may have developed as a form of self-protection. If you were severely blamed or criticized in the past you may have unwittingly started using apologies as a way of saying to any potential blamers: 'Look don't hurt my I'm sorry ok!' It may be understandable why this developed and became habit but it is self-defeating. In fact others are more likely to blame you if they feel you are already blaming your self.
This session Stop Apologizing will give you a wonderfully relaxing experience and encourage your mind to gently absorb greater levels of confidence so you no longer feel the need to over apologize-you'll feel as if you have more 'right to be alive.' Download Stop Apologizing now.
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Narrator: Roger Elliott
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