You've failed - but you really can deal with failure

When it comes to failure, the positive thinking crowd cheerily tell you not to beat yourself up. They jolly you along with advice to focus on the future and put the past behind you. They use nostrums like 'There is no such thing as failure - only feedback!' They even advise you to look yourself in the eye in the mirror and proclaim "I can do anything!" But none of this makes you feel okay about failure, does it?

Don't punish yourself for your failures

Of course, this advice isn't wrong, in itself. If you've done the best you can, it's true that beating yourself up for not getting the result you hoped for, planned for, worked for, isn't going to help you. It won't make you feel better about the failure, nor will it help you 'do better next time'. It just makes you feel worse than you already do about failing.

Good advice for recovering from failure - when you're ready

It's also true that dwelling on the past only leads to a dead end. Not to mention that you could get depressed by constantly ruminating on what you should have done, or how things might have been, if only… And you probably don't need to be told that there are lessons to be learned from your experience. Using affirmations to build your confidence is good too (though perhaps it's not quite true that you can do anything…)

The real trouble is that this advice is premature. These are not the first things to do when you meet an experience of failure.

Failure is really important. You can tell, because it hurts.

It's only human to dislike unpleasant experiences, and we all do our best to avoid them. When we can't avoid them, we do our best to get out of them as quickly as possible. But sometimes, in our rush to escape, we can miss the gleam of treasure hidden in the dirty ore of those experiences that touch us where it matters. You can tell that failure is one of those, by the strength of the feeling it generates in you.

If you can bring yourself to stay with it (which is not the same as dwelling on it), you can find yourself dealing with failure in a whole new way.

You can use hypnosis to help you deal with failure in a new way

Dealing with failure is an audio hypnosis session which focuses on this essential first step to really dealing well with the experience of failure. As you listen to the gentle but powerful hypnotic suggestions, you will notice that the distress and discomfort you feel begin to change at a very deep and subtle level.

Your own experience and the experience of others are woven together in Dealing with failure in a series of beneficial interventions which affirm the meaning and value of what has happened - just as it is. As you relax deeply (itself a profoundly healing thing to do) you will find yourself moving more naturally towards that stage where you really are ready to move on - and do well.

Download Dealing with failure and discover something more than feedback.