Could my over-sensitivity be used to help others?

Hey Mark,

I have been looking at all the options of hypnosis and would like your advice on where to start. I was considering the PMS download since I believe my low self-esteem symptoms are heightened around this time.

I feel so vulnerable with my emotions that I just want to retreat within myself. If someone is upset or happy, I reflect it. I hear from friends that I am too sensitive, so my reaction is to be reasonable and think logically. The result sometimes leads to me over-analyzing everything.

Could my being sensitive to others' emotions be a gift that I haven't learned how to control? Maybe I could use it in a career path (another topic I am in need of deciding on).

I understand these might be questions to ask a therapist and I don't really expect you to answer them. I've just spent the last couple of days going through the many options of hypnosis and think I could benefit from so many that I'm having trouble picking one. This could be my M.O. for everything: romantic relationships, career paths, religion... If I could just get a push in the right direction.

Thank you for being here, for choosing to help us. I hope it works for me.

Sincerely,

Erica

This question was submitted by 'Erica'

Mark says...

Hello Erica,

Thanks for writing in. I'm going to say something quite shocking, perhaps.

If we use the word 'sensitivity' in the sense that a sensitive instrument is better at picking up elements of objective reality, then low self-esteem would have to be called a state of insensitivity because it skews and unbalances true perception of reality by exaggerating and biasing fairness to oneself.

Being sensitive to others' emotions needs to be balanced with knowing how and when to see the limits of the validity of their emotions. In order to help them, we need to be both sensitive to other people's feelings and also sensitive to the possibilities they have for mastering their feelings in some contexts. Sometimes the best empathy resides in understanding the limits of what might seem to be empathy. For example, we might need to develop the sensitivity to know when someone doesn't need the usual empathy, but some kind of wake-up call.

Sometimes true empathy won't look like any clichéd definition of empathy. We need to recognize and understand a person's pain, but remain enough outside it as to actually see clearly what can help them. Just as to help a drowning person, we need to not be drowning with them, but helping them to safety.

So I would say that sensitivity to others' emotions is a starting point to be able to really help them. But an over-sensitivity may need to be corrected so that we can help them.

I suspect you are capable of great things in life and part of you knows that, but it's currently a bit covered over with conditioning from your past. But you owe it to the people you can help in your future, the person you can be, and the happiness you can have to develop yourself beyond past restrictive conditioning.

As far as hypnosis recordings go, I suggest you listen to 'Don't Take It Personally' to start with and you might find that is enough to get the ball rolling in a direction that will really help you and others.

All my best,

Mark