Archive for February, 2010
Downloads UnwrappedHaving a sense of control in one’s own life is one of the basic human emotional needs that we must seek to satisfy if we want to lead a healthy, balanced life. But it can happen that the pursuit of this need can itself get out of kilter, and then a whole new set of problems can arise. Control freaks – is it possible to stop being one? Control freaks seek to empower themselves at the expense of other people’s sense of autonomy. Irritating, intimidating and disempowering others might not be the control freak’s conscious aim but this is often the effect of controlling behavior. Control freaks might not be intentional bullies and are often very successful in certain areas. Where they tend to be less successful is in interpersonal relationships. Personal and work relationships are often areas of disappointment for the control freak - for two reasons:
- other people’s foibles, weakness and differences are not easily tolerated, so the control freak feels continually let down and disappointed
- other people eventually find it too hard to be in (any kind of) relationship with the control freak.
Escape emotional abuse Emotional abuse affects different people in different ways, but it always has an effect. What we mean by the words ‘emotional abuse’ can range from mild but prolonged mockery to major fear inducing threats and torment. Emotional abuse can include threats of physical harm or loss of something valued. When people have been emotionally abused in the past they may show signs of ‘learned helplessness’, whereby they feel unable to act positively in the world, or problem solve effectively; in a sense, they feel as helpless now (even though really they are not) as they did when perhaps they were more helpless. So the little boy unable to go out and play with friends may, as an adult, feel unable to go out and socialize even though, in reality, there is no reason why he can’t. People who are caught up in an abusive relationship often doubt themselves and feel afraid to take action. They need to be able to reconnect with who they were before the abuse started, so that they can either end the relationship or build up the strength to insist on new terms of engagement. The new Escape from emotional abuse download at hypnosisdownloads.com works to help people put a stop to emotional mistreatment from others and to ease the old associations so life in the present can be enjoyed free from of the effects of past abuse. All the very best Mark
Unrequited love The words ‘unrequited love’ conjure up an intensely romantic, even ‘poetic’ image of noble suffering. But the reality, the actual experience, can seriously interfere with the workings of people’s lives. Loving someone intensely without being loved in return (or even spared much thought at all) can lead to sleeplessness, anxiety and feelings of hopelessness and depression. Distracting thoughts of the longed-for person can prevent you from focussing on work or friendships and make life seem a lot harder - even totally joyless - without this person in your life. The thinking style that comes out of feeling unrequited love is very ‘all-or-nothing’ – “Without this person my life is meaningless!” Putting all one’s eggs in one basket is always a dangerous strategy. “If I could only have this person with me then all my problems would disappear!” Unrequited love seems in some ways an old-fashioned notion, but huge number of times it shows up on internet searches indicates that it is a timeless human concern. You never hear of people consulting their doctor because they’re suffering from ‘unrequited love’, but we realize that this is a very real problem for some, which is why we’ve had the Unrequited love download available on hypnosisdownloads.com for a while. It’s proved so useful to so many that this month we’ve taken it in hand and improved and added to it for even greater effect. The relief of no longer about someone, the sheer sense of freedom that comes from no longer feeling that life without them is not worth anything, is, we think worth its weight in gold. All the best Mark