I used to write this section in our monthly Inspired Minds newsletter, but we figured it would be easier to read online, and all our blog subscribers would enjoy reading it too. At least I hope you do Read April’s Inspired Minds newsletter here.

Mark

Perfect partner? You wish!

The woman looking at me from the comfortable chair in my consulting room didn’t seem very happy. She was telling me about her relationship with her partner and it was all bad news. Although she said she had fallen in love with him when they first met, all I was hearing was complaints. He had ‘a bit of a belly on him’. He was ‘annoying’. He didn’t ‘look after himself like other people’. Perhaps he wasn’t her ‘perfect partner’ after all?

A bit of probing revealed that she was comparing his looks to media celebrities, and was disturbed to notice that time had drawn lines on his face. It transpired she was a perfectionist: “If something isn’t perfect, I don’t want to know!” she said, as if it was something to be proud of.  But perfectionism applied to relationships is a recipe for disaster.

Her past was littered with relationships she’d broken off for reasons none of her friends could understand. It’s dangerous to treat a relationship like a material possession (“Oh this is  a bit worn – I’ll get a new one!”). She even described her partner as being ‘past his sell by date’.

With deep hypnosis and the introduction of more subtle ideas about love and appreciation this woman became much happier. She rediscovered, as she put it herself, her real love for her partner.

This month’s Love your imperfect partner is for people who constantly focus on their partner’s imperfections at the expense of their positive qualities. Any over-simplistic way of relating to life will bring problems. I was pleased (though not surprised) when my client let me know later that she was finding more happiness in areas even beyond her relationship.

Beating the distractions and getting things done

Do you ever feel that you are busy but not really productive? The new Be more productive download is all about becoming more focused, cutting out distractions, proper prioritizing and doing less of what distracts you from your larger goals.

The point I am really interested in here is the choices we make about what we do every day. People commonly report getting a nagging feeling, no matter what they are doing, that there is something else that they should be doing. Over time, this can really wear you down and reduce your efficiency and productivity. So I see the aim of this session as a careful redirection of energy. And more energy means more productivity.

I think this is going to be a vitally important download for those who are trying to reach very specific goals but find that life keeps getting in the way.

A ‘sale’ is a by-product of a relationship – so work on the relationship

And talking of life, ‘sales skills’ are not just for sales people. Whether you’re a parent who wants to get the kids to pick up certain ideas, a friend who needs to help someone get a new more upbeat view of life, a doctor who wants to ‘sell’ the notion of a healthier lifestyle to your patients, or a salesperson marketing computer software to multinational companies, the Sales superstar download encourages super confidence and people skills.

‘Sales’ should be a by-product of successfully engaging with somebody – they should never feel as if it is the main point of the conversation, or as if they have been pressured. The world’s greatest sales-people are, first and foremost, great relationship builders. They know how to listen and to give freely one of the most precious and valuable of human experiences – top quality attention.

Mark’s Tip for the Top

For April my personal favorite is Be more productive because, since listening to it myself (yes, I do listen to my own downloads , I have found myself working four hour days and getting more done than I used to in twelve hours. You can’t argue with that!