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Full hypnosis download Stand up for yourself

In a classic episode of the comedy ‘Fawlty Towers’, Basil the hotelier, played by John Cleese, says to a particularly rude guest “Oh! You were talking to me! I thought for a moment there was a dog in the room!” He was, of course, sarcastically trying to make her aware of her rudeness in addressing him so abruptly. But – and here’s the point – the woman herself (who was actually quite deaf but didn’t like to admit it) didn’t think she was being rude. She was quite sure that it was Basil who was being rude.

Basil’s approach to ‘standing up for himself’ is not a particularly effective strategy. Sarcasm is usually wasted on truly rude people, who are often too insensitive (whether deaf or not) to pick up on it. In fact, in general it is a mistake to assume that people will just somehow ‘get the message’ without being plainly and clearly told that they are out of order. This is because people – especially those who are rude or dismissive towards you – will rarely be working from the same or a similar moral agenda to you.

“But if he respected me I wouldn’t have to tell him to talk to me politely! He must surely know I don’t like it!”

Not so.

We assume that other people are as decent as we are, and that can be a mistake. You don’t turn a lion into a vegetarian by throwing veggie burgers at it.

Trying to ‘be nice’ to people who are not nice to you in the hope that they will see the light and mend their ways just doesn’t work.

Standing up for yourself is about being very literal and clear with people. “I don’t want you to talk to me like that, because I find it rude and offensive. Do you understand?” is very different from hoping that someone will ‘get the message’ from one of your meaningful looks, or a bit of frostiness or sarcasm. Rude insensitive people are not mind readers (and even charming sensitive types aren’t very good at it), and if you don’t tell people that something is unacceptable to you, they will assume it’s OK with you by your implicit consent.

Stand up for yourself and be more honest

If someone is a chronic ‘non-stand up for themselveser’ (all my own work, that phrase), then they may have been taught that it’s unacceptable, or ‘not nice’, to make a fuss, or ‘upset the apple cart’. They may fear retaliation or generally hate confrontation. But if you never stand up for yourself, you risk being false with people – and so false to yourself. You become false with others by letting them think that you are happy with things you are not happy with. And you condemn yourself to a lifetime of biting your tongue and seething with inner resentment that just isn’t healthy.

Another benefit of standing up for yourself is that people may actually even like you more (if that’s important to you), or at least respect you more. According to some very respected research (talking of respect), wives who constantly agree with and placate their husbands (rather than sometimes standing up to them) are more likely to get divorced than their more feisty married girlfriends.

The new hypnotic download session Stand up for yourself from hypnosisdownloads.com is designed for people who need to protect their own interests by being firm when it really counts. Of course, it’s great to let some things go and be understanding up to a point. No one likes someone who is always terrier-like about everything. But this session should help people tip the balance in favour of championing themselves properly when they need to, and so feel more honest and liberated and also generally more in control of things.

Time to let the dog out.

Mark.

PS That research I mentioned was reported in ‘Responsive Listening in Long-Married Couples’, Journal of Nonverbal Behaviour (Summer 1999)