How can I stop feeling so embarrassed?

I am suffering from sensitivity in embarrassment. I am 16 now. I blush easily and get embarrassed easily. I can't overcome embarrassment like others by laughing and moving on with another work. How can I stop being so sensitive to embarrassment?

This question was submitted by 'Pritha'

Mark says...

Hello Pritha and thank you for your question.

Self-consciousness and feeling embarrassed too easily are, of course, very common when you are 16, as is blushing. I remember all that only too well. : ) It might seem like other people get over embarrassment easily (and some people will do), but please don't believe that others don't experience as much embarrassment as you, because some people - in fact, many people - do.

There are three things that need to happen:

First off, you need to remember that you are less noticed than you believe. This doesn't mean you are not important - because you are - it just means others tend to be more preoccupied with themselves and this stops them noticing you so much. Self-conscious people tend to imagine that others notice them and think about them much more than they do in reality. Have a look at 'Self Consciousness - What Is It Good For?'.
Secondly, you need to care less what others think or don't think, because that often has a lot more to do with them than with you.
Thirdly, I think you need to learn to use your imagination instead of misuse it. It's easy to assume that what you imagine others must be thinking of you is 100% correct, but as you grow older you'll naturally do that less, anyway.

Take time to relax every day and, whilst you relax, imagine being calm, comfortable, and unconcerned with what others think or don't think. This training will help you move through this natural phase of embarrassment much more quickly. If you need help to do this, then I recommend you listen to 'No Embarrassment' every day for a week and then a couple of times a week after that.

Things will improve. : )

All my best,

Mark